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Turner addresses the students in a letter

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  • Turner addresses the students in a letter

    Typical form letter:

    "FOOTBALL ALERT!!!!!!! FOOTBALL ALERT!!!!!!!

    It’s time to release some academic stress. This is Turner Gill, Head Football Coach of your tradition rich university here at KU! I loved seeing and hearing your passion for Kansas athletics throughout this past spring.

    On behalf of the football players and staff, we know you can be the biggest reason to establish a loud, continuous college atmosphere throughout the game in Memorial Stadium.

    The 2010 football season is set to kick off this Saturday evening with your Jayhawks hosting North Dakota State at Kivisto Field in Memorial Stadium at 6:00 pm. Our season continues with six more home games featuring outstanding competition between Big 12 opponents and non-conference teams.

    So come on students and jump on board for some exciting KU Football! WE WANT YOU! WE NEED YOU! Cheer loud, but do it with class. Please have respect for our opponents and their fans; as well as the fans around you and your team!

    ROCK CHALK,

    Turner Gill"

    He forgot to add-- let's RTFHO!

  • #2
    Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

    Shit like this is so lame. Pleading with fans to cheer... That letter isn't going to convince someone to cheer.

    scene
    Outside Hasinger Hall
    Hula Hooper 1 - Hey dudes, sup for the weekend? / drags Parliament
    Hula Hooper 2 - Probably jam the Beach House record and watch 90210 dvds
    Fixed Gear Biker 1 - reading UDK - hey, maybe we should go to the football game and cheer. The coach asked us to.
    Hacky Sack Guy 1 - YEAH! Great idea!! I didn't know we had a team, but now we should totally cheer loud and proud!
    All - Can't wait for Saturday's game to cheer super loud!

    /end scene.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

      [quote author=blackPHOGmoan link=topic=885.msg9536#msg9536 date=1283527179]
      Shit like this is so lame. Pleading with fans to cheer... That letter isn't going to convince someone to cheer.

      scene
      Outside Hasinger Hall
      Hula Hooper 1 - Hey dudes, sup for the weekend? / drags Parliament
      Hula Hooper 2 - Probably jam the Beach House record and watch 90210 dvds
      Fixed Gear Biker 1 - reading UDK - hey, maybe we should go to the football game and cheer. The coach asked us to.
      Hacky Sack Guy 1 - YEAH! Great idea!! I didn't know we had a team, but now we should totally cheer loud and proud!
      All - Can't wait for Saturday's game to cheer super loud!

      /end scene.
      [/quote]

      This is when I knew it would be good.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

        you forgot the greek dudes that were trying to pick out which "sunnies" to wear to the game

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

          [quote author=Joe Norris link=topic=885.msg9550#msg9550 date=1283527620]
          you forgot the greek dudes that were trying to pick out which "sunnies" to wear to the game
          [/quote]

          They still do that.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

            Scene 2
            outside Phi Delta Theta

            Bro 1 - Yo, how many Bro Sodas we gonna crush this afternoon? /swoops his frat cut
            Brah 1 - I'll have a pledge grab us a 30 of Nat. /Cranks Jimmy Buffet greatest hits
            Bruh 1 - No doubt. I'm fuckin pumped to pregame at the Wheel, head to dad's 'gate, brocrastinate with some sleeze's, scream RHFHO, and then bro chill at Bull/Hawk/Wheel

            Bro 1 - scope this UDK pape a pledge brought me - hangs 'Bans by his neck
            Brah 1 - fuck that black coach. - wipes skoal on the salmon shorts
            Bruh 1 - nah man, we should totally cheer, respectfully too. At least for a quarter. /cranks Bruce

            All - lets police the stands to point out fucking GDI's who scream that dumb ass chant. Excuse us for trying to class this uni up a bit.

            /end scene

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

              ^^^^

              false....nobody got iced

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                [quote author=blackPHOGmoan link=topic=885.msg9556#msg9556 date=1283528038]
                Scene 2
                outside Phi Delta Theta

                Bro 1 - Yo, how many Bro Sodas we gonna crush this afternoon? /swoops his frat cut
                Brah 1 - I'll have a pledge grab us a 30 of Nat. /Cranks Jimmy Buffet greatest hits
                Bruh 1 - No doubt. I'm fuckin pumped to pregame at the Wheel, head to dad's 'gate, brocrastinate with some sleeze's, scream RHFHO, and then bro chill at Bull/Hawk/Wheel

                Bro 1 - scope this UDK pape a pledge brought me - hangs 'Bans by his neck
                Brah 1 - fuck that black coach. - wipes skoal on the salmon shorts
                Bruh 1 - nah man, we should totally cheer, respectfully too. At least for a quarter. /cranks Bruce

                All - lets police the stands to point out fucking GDI's who scream that dumb ass chant. Excuse us for trying to class this uni up a bit.

                /end scene
                [/quote]
                this sounds incredible. I want in.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                  [quote author=Joe Norris link=topic=885.msg9558#msg9558 date=1283528145]
                  ^^^^

                  false....nobody got iced
                  [/quote]

                  It's not June anymore, Chad Brochocinco

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                    That email can't be real.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                      ....oh....is icing out now?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                        It may be so out, that it's back in, but only as an ironic gesture toward the past. It's now a move of nostalgia, like wearing aqua socks.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                          when did aqua socks go out?!?!


                          but anyway, also, back to the topic at hand...at least it's a bit more believable coming from Turner than Mangino

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                            Regardless, it's dumb and reeks of insecurity. Urban Meyer would never do something like this (maybe he did at Utah). I just hope our team isn't a bunch of pussies. I know it's coachspeak, but all the media reports sound like TG and Co. are coddling the players and being a buddy players coach.

                            I know it is different at practice, but I just hope we have a bit of toughness to our team and that comes from the top. I want to see TG get into someones ass (literally and figuratively) when they mess up.

                            I'm probably just being pessimistic and viewing everything as negative. Can't wait to be proved wrong.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Turner addresses the students in a letter

                              Scene 3
                              inside Eaton Hall computer lab

                              Engineer 1 - This finite element analysis book appears to be bereft of proper physical scenarios. Who uses tensor notation anymore?

                              Engineer 2 - Well at least it isn't using Fortran in the examples. My control systems book wouldn't know a do-while loop if it hit it in the face.

                              Engineer 1 & 2 (in unison): Hehehehehehhe *snort* our jokes are funny to only us, because we are better than everyone else. /adjusts crotch

                              CLAS student librarian - What are you guys doing in here on a Saturday, don't you know there's a game this weekend?

                              Engineer 1: Week... end?

                              CLAS student librarian - Yeah, we have a new football coach-- he's trying to get everyone down to the stadium to cheer

                              Engineer 2: /grabs newspaper

                              Engineer 1: I can't believe you read the UDK. A good paper like the Economist would ...

                              Engineer 2: Wait a minute! I understand now. Life isn't meant to be spent crunching numbers, memorizing formulas and belittling others that lack analytical skills. A healthy balance of human interaction is required to better develop soft skills and live a long and fulfilled life. Don't you see!??! By engaging in these pseudo-tribal rituals, we too will become more engaged with those that we encounter in everyday life.

                              Indian grad student that never says anything - ...

                              Engineer 1: Then it is agreed. We shall go to the arena to cheer on the football squadron.

                              Unison (except the Indian grad student, whom never says anything): Thanks, Turner Gill!

                              /end scene

                              Comment

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