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A Jayhawk Night Before Christmas

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  • A Jayhawk Night Before Christmas

    A Jayhawk Night Before Christmas

    By Jason Spencer, adapted from John Steere
    With Apologies to and Clement Clarke Moore

    Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
    not a keyboard was stirring, not even a mouse.

    The game scores were hung on the web page with care,
    in hopes that more victories soon would be there.

    The faithful were nestled all snug in their beds,
    while visions of championships danced in their heads.

    And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap,
    had just settled down for a long winters nap.

    When out on Naismith there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

    And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But the Jayhawk hoops players wandering near.

    And their cagey head coach, opponets he kill,
    I knew in an instant it could only be Bill.

    More Rapid than Tigers and Cowboys they came,
    He whistled and shouted and called them by name.

    "Now Josh, now TRob, now Marcus and Kief,
    On, Tyshawn, on Tyrel on Brady and Elijah.

    Into the Fieldhouse, lets practice some ball,
    Now dash away, dash away, dash away all."

    Into old Allen the players all flew,
    and behind them came Bill, and three trainers, too.

    Around him they gathered to hear of his plan,
    For an April trip to the Promised Land.

    He shouted and whistled, cheeks rosy and red,
    Through each of the drills to the players he pled:

    "More back screens, more free-throws, more rebounds, more treys
    You can't win it all if you don't run the plays.

    Come on, you're loafing, come on move your feet
    There're Tigers and Aggies and Cyclones to beat."

    In the doorway I perched all quiet and shy,
    And knew if we won that this would be why.

    TRob leaped and soared high off of the ground,
    And thundered to earth with one more rebound.

    He fired it out to a waiting Josh Selby,
    With a wink to the scouts, his NBA future to be.

    I saw Elijah and Royce try to guard Travis,
    What more could one want for a Jayhawk Christmas?

    They sweated and toiled all that Christmas day eve,
    Without thought of quitting or rest or reprieve.

    And then in a twinkle Bill said they were done,
    "Let's go play a game and have some REAL fun."

    He sprang to the bus, to the team gave a whistle,
    And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

    But I heard him exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
    "Happy Christmas to Jayhawks, to all a good-night."

  • #2
    Re: A Jayhawk Night Before Christmas

    Dashing through the snow
    With a bag full of Dillard's merchandise
    Then RCPD, fresh off of saving the world
    From the deathly scourge of college parties
    And wayward hippies from Lawrence smoking joints
    Shot Pullen and Kelly in the back
    Partly for stealing, but mainly for being black
    Then the NCAA pissed on their corpses and suspended Wally Judge for 666 games
    And Jim Delaney and Dan Beebe sat down to a Christmas dinner of babies and puppies
    Does any of this rhyme or fit into any sort of poetic meter? No, so fuck you.

    The End

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: A Jayhawk Night Before Christmas

      [quote author=The42TeamYardStateStickUsernameGoesPastTheM arginsConference link=topic=2921.msg33161#msg33161 date=1293357886]
      Dashing through the snow
      With a bag full of Dillard's merchandise
      Then RCPD, fresh off of saving the world
      From the deathly scourge of college parties
      And wayward hippies from Lawrence smoking joints
      Shot Pullen and Kelly in the back
      Partly for stealing, but mainly for being black
      Then the NCAA pissed on their corpses and suspended Wally Judge for 666 games
      And Jim Delaney and Dan Beebe sat down to a Christmas dinner of babies and puppies
      Does any of this rhyme or fit into any sort of poetic meter? No, so fuck you.

      The End[/quote]

      My favorite part.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: A Jayhawk Night Before Christmas

        You're not supposed to like it.

        Comment

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