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Forget Selby's Clearing Woes, This KU AD Rumor Has Legs!

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  • Forget Selby's Clearing Woes, This KU AD Rumor Has Legs!

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    University of Kansas Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little recently announced the formation of a search committee for a new Athletic Director to replace Lew Perkins, who officially retired two weeks ago. We don’t have a spy in the committee--not to say that we ever utilize the services of super-secret double-probation CIA-trained espionage specialists to gather delicate sports-related data--but we already know who may be at the top of the list of candidates being considered: Big 12 (or should be called the Big 10 now?) Commissioner Dan Beebe.

    Dan Beebe is a true master of his trade. He is decisive, he tends to foresee and fix potential problems before they arise, and most of all he looks out for the best interests of all conference schools equally. Beebe is also a dynamo at revenue sharing equality and must have been an accountant in a former life. Beebe has provided our conference with unflinching leadership and vision and would serve KU well as our next AD.

    Lew Perkins was known as a cutthroat businessman during his time at KU; well, I can say with certainty that Dan Beebe will never cut any throats nor conduct any business, qualities which should serve him well as the ‘Terry Allen’ (think of the nicest guy you’ve ever met. Well, Terry was even nicer) of ADs. Make no mistake about it; Kansas needs a fresh face with good morals, and Beebe is just the man for the job. Heck, we thing a switch-a-roo is in order as Perkins and his steely, cigar smoking persona would be perfect as Big 12 Commish and Beebe would fit tighter than O.J.’s glove at KU.

    In just one example of Beebe’s leadership prowess and magnanimity, Nebraska’s departure from the Big 12 will only cost them $9 million as opposed to the nearly $20 million originally sought by the conference. His generosity will allow a beloved conference program to go on their way without any bitterness all while keeping more money in their wallets; a fine parting gift, I’d say! What of Colorado’s jump to the Pac-10? Beebe’s quick thinking saved them anywhere from $9-$14 million in fees. We should all be as thoughtful as Mr. Beebe for taking into consideration the greater good as opposed to the good of the conference.

    Dan Beebe has broad perspective. He will consider how actions affect the other schools in our conference or even collegiate athletics as a whole before he will consider how they affect KU, thus KU will be seen as the sort of ‘housemother’ of the hard-partying Big 12 (or is it Big 10?). Want a level playing field? BAM! You’ve got it. This is exactly the type of cutting edge thinking required to bring Kansas Athletics out of the ‘Oughts and into the ‘Eens. Beebs—can we call you that? It’s a term of endearment--you’re our man. The man with the plan. And we want to be your woman in a perfect marriage. After all, we know you’ve already gotten your break-ups out of the way, right? Right?

  • #2
    Re: Forget Selby's Clearing Woes, This KU AD Rumor Has Legs!

    funny, he didn't mention anything when he was leaving my apt this mornin


    • #3
      Re: Forget Selby's Clearing Woes, This KU AD Rumor Has Legs!

      As KSTATEO liason to WaveTheWheat, I approve of this hire.


      • #4
        Re: Forget Selby's Clearing Woes, This KU AD Rumor Has Legs!

        I can't take several years of that mole on his left cheek winking at me.

        We need a real heavy hitter, like Gene Hackman, MacGyver or Mr. T.