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**ElJefe58** · 09-02-10, 01:47 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

I just pull out my peen instead of my phone. Makes things less awkward.

**dominatindj11** · 09-02-10, 01:47 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

Just stare at them but don't say a thing. They will inevitably look away, and you keep going.

**RandytheHelpfulPineapple** · 09-02-10, 01:54 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

Yes. These are bruises from fighting. Yes. I'm comfortable with that. I'm enlightened.

**Milo** · 09-02-10, 01:58 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

Earlier this year in may, my secretary took the day off to get a colonoscopy. I walked in and she wanted to show me pictures. I declined. She showed me anyway.

Then in June she was sick and took the day off. She came in the next day and I asked her how she was feeling. She told me basically that she shit her pants 3 times and had to change clothes several times the day before.

About a month ago, same secretary came into my office and crop dusted me, not once, but twice.

Then last Friday, she came in my office and I swear she sharted her pants. I actually had to leave. The odor lingered much longer than a normal fart. And it was putrid.

This morning she came in my office and left another cloud. It has become evident that the colonoscopy unblocked a blockage that is allowing the free escape of raw sewage into the air, mostly in my office.

What do I do to confront her with these problems of 1) showing me pictures of the inside of her ass after I told her no, I did not want to see them, 2) telling me she shit her pants 3 times the day before, and 3) that it isn't socially acceptable to shit her pants in my office or blow one out while I'm sitting there?

That's my awkward situation right now.

**RandytheHelpfulPineapple** · 09-02-10, 01:59 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=Jhawk2001 link=topic=855.msg9201#msg9201 date=1283453887]
Earlier this year in may, my secretary took the day off to get a colonoscopy. I walked in and she wanted to show me pictures. I declined. She showed me anyway.

Then in June she was sick and took the day off. She came in the next day and I asked her how she was feeling. She told me basically that she shit her pants 3 times and had to change clothes several times the day before.

About a month ago, same secretary came into my office and crop dusted me, not once, but twice.

Then last Friday, she came in my office and I swear she sharted her pants. I actually had to leave. The odor lingered much longer than a normal fart. And it was putrid.

This morning she came in my office and left another cloud. It has become evident that the colonoscopy unblocked a blockage that is allowing the free escape of raw sewage into the air, mostly in my office.

What do I do to confront her with these problems of 1) showing me pictures of the inside of her ass after I told her no, I did not want to see them, 2) telling me she shit her pants 3 times the day before, and 3) that it isn't socially acceptable to shit her pants in my office or blow one out while I'm sitting there?

That's my awkward situation right now.
[/quote]

PIITB

**Milo** · 09-02-10, 02:01 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

followed by

**sweaterbydarwin** · 09-02-10, 02:06 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

sometimes I forget where I am and pull my peen out as I enter the restroom and before the urinal. :killme

**sweaterbydarwin** · 09-02-10, 02:08 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=Jhawk2001 link=topic=855.msg9201#msg9201 date=1283453887]
Earlier this year in may, my secretary took the day off to get a colonoscopy. I walked in and she wanted to show me pictures. I declined. She showed me anyway.

Then in June she was sick and took the day off. She came in the next day and I asked her how she was feeling. She told me basically that she shit her pants 3 times and had to change clothes several times the day before.

About a month ago, same secretary came into my office and crop dusted me, not once, but twice.

Then last Friday, she came in my office and I swear she sharted her pants. I actually had to leave. The odor lingered much longer than a normal fart. And it was putrid.

This morning she came in my office and left another cloud. It has become evident that the colonoscopy unblocked a blockage that is allowing the free escape of raw sewage into the air, mostly in my office.

What do I do to confront her with these problems of 1) showing me pictures of the inside of her ass after I told her no, I did not want to see them, 2) telling me she shit her pants 3 times the day before, and 3) that it isn't socially acceptable to shit her pants in my office or blow one out while I'm sitting there?

That's my awkward situation right now.
[/quote]

**Milo** · 09-02-10, 02:10 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=sweaterbydarwin link=topic=855.msg9208#msg9208 date=1283454520]

[/quote]

Where can I find this product. I'm thinking Christmas present.

**WhiteSuxDirtyBirds** · 09-02-10, 02:43 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=Jhawk2001 link=topic=855.msg9201#msg9201 date=1283453887]
Earlier this year in may, my secretary took the day off to get a colonoscopy. I walked in and she wanted to show me pictures. I declined. She showed me anyway.

Then in June she was sick and took the day off. She came in the next day and I asked her how she was feeling. She told me basically that she shit her pants 3 times and had to change clothes several times the day before.

About a month ago, same secretary came into my office and crop dusted me, not once, but twice.

Then last Friday, she came in my office and I swear she sharted her pants. I actually had to leave. The odor lingered much longer than a normal fart. And it was putrid.

This morning she came in my office and left another cloud. It has become evident that the colonoscopy unblocked a blockage that is allowing the free escape of raw sewage into the air, mostly in my office.

What do I do to confront her with these problems of 1) showing me pictures of the inside of her ass after I told her no, I did not want to see them, 2) telling me she shit her pants 3 times the day before, and 3) that it isn't socially acceptable to shit her pants in my office or blow one out while I'm sitting there?

That's my awkward situation right now.
[/quote]

You should shit on her desk or in the passenger seat of her car.

**blackPHOGmoan** · 09-02-10, 10:19 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=Joe Norris link=topic=855.msg9190#msg9190 date=1283453125]
Post 'em here

We have LONG ass hallways at my office...and the men's room is at the other end of the building than me...I drink water constantly at work so I have two or three visits per day

It seems like every time I start down the hallway someone else starts the other way...usually someone I don't know...so you work to avoid eye contact..pull out your phone...all of this stuff...and then inevitably when you pass them you have some comment "how's it going" "hey it's almost Friday"...blah blah blah

anyone else?
[/quote]

You must be me, but my trips are probably 5-6 times. Small bladder + big nalgene = heaps of piss. I maintain eye contact to establish my dominance in the relationship. Makes things easier when you're the king of the office.

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 09-02-10, 10:24 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=blackPHOGmoan link=topic=855.msg9399#msg9399 date=1283483992]
[quote author=Joe Norris link=topic=855.msg9190#msg9190 date=1283453125]
Post 'em here

We have LONG ass hallways at my office...and the men's room is at the other end of the building than me...I drink water constantly at work so I have two or three visits per day

It seems like every time I start down the hallway someone else starts the other way...usually someone I don't know...so you work to avoid eye contact..pull out your phone...all of this stuff...and then inevitably when you pass them you have some comment "how's it going" "hey it's almost Friday"...blah blah blah

anyone else?
[/quote]

You must be me, but my trips are probably 5-6 times. Small bladder + big nalgene = heaps of piss. I maintain eye contact to establish my dominance in the relationship. Makes things easier when you're the king of the office.
[/quote]

I thought the same thing...drinking water "constantly" and only going 2-3 times a day? I'm lucky if I make it 45 minutes without going. I'm a real bitch on roadtrips.

**Joe Norris** · 09-02-10, 10:39 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

Yeah, I think I've got a pretty big bladder....honestly, when I get home from work I drink a half a gallon to a whole gallon of water just to stay hydrated

it's hotter than shit down here

**Jayhawker** · 09-02-10, 10:54 PM

Re: Awkward Situations

[quote author=Jhawk2001 link=topic=855.msg9201#msg9201 date=1283453887]
Earlier this year in may, my secretary took the day off to get a colonoscopy.
[/quote]

Too much of this?

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