Let's make this a good day, story time

[JHAWKjason]

What's the best way you've ever broken up with someone?

I had a party for St. Patty's day one year and muted the music, telling everyone I had something important to give to my girlfriend. Walked around the corner to the closet and came back with a boot.

Her: "What's this?"

JHAWKjason: "It's the boot."

Her: "What do I do with it?"

JHAWKjason: "You get the fuck out!"

{music on}

[blackPHOGmoan]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=JHAWKjason link=topic=691.msg8103#msg8103 date=1282911355]
What's the best way you've ever broken up with someone?

I had a party for St. Patty's day one year and muted the music, telling everyone I had something important to give to my girlfriend. Walked around the corner to the closet and came back with a boot.

Her: "What's this?"

JHAWKjason: "It's the boot."

Her: "What do I do with it?"

JHAWKjason: "You get the fuck out!"

{music on}
[/quote]

That's pretty rude and embarrassing for all three parties involved. Any context you want to add?

:nopostitnote

[Evolvehawk]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

yeahhhhhh

spamming politics threads, this thing

anyone leaning towards an impostor?

[RandytheHelpfulPineapple]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=Evolvehawk link=topic=691.msg8108#msg8108 date=1282914263]
yeahhhhhh

spamming politics threads, this thing

anyone leaning towards an impostor?
[/quote]

He knows some stuff about Jason-- he was in chat last night.

[JHAWKjason]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=blackPHOGmoan link=topic=691.msg8106#msg8106 date=1282914137]
[quote author=JHAWKjason link=topic=691.msg8103#msg8103 date=1282911355]
What's the best way you've ever broken up with someone?

I had a party for St. Patty's day one year and muted the music, telling everyone I had something important to give to my girlfriend. Walked around the corner to the closet and came back with a boot.

Her: "What's this?"

JHAWKjason: "It's the boot."

Her: "What do I do with it?"

JHAWKjason: "You get the fuck out!"

{music on}
[/quote]

That's pretty rude and embarrassing for all three parties involved. Any context you want to add?

:nopostitnote
[/quote]

Agreed.

I had a mysterious charge on my credit card that ended up being a purse she had purchased without my knowledge. Boot.

[TacoHut]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

I broke up with a girl post coitus(sp) once. She was not impressed.












did not like getting dumped either.

[ono]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

I broke up with a girl on our all-important "6-month anniversary."

She brought it up in the ensuing conversation like it was supposed to make me feel like a dick or change my mind... didn't really work.

[RandytheHelpfulPineapple]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

You guys are ruthless.

The last one I broke up with was a dull, slightly annoying, but nice girl. She started to cry and I turned into jelly. I didn't have the iron to tell her she was boring, so I ran a variation of the 'it's not you, it's me' routine. Ugh.

If it's a girl that has done something to deserve being broken up with, she gets no mercy. It's the good girls that make it difficult.

[illinijhawk]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

Let me preface this by saying I'm not proud of my younger self, but c'est la vie.

I was dating this woman for about eight months or so. She was becoming increasingly clingy and seemed ready to marry and I was not. Rather than be a man about it and have "the talk", I somewhat led her along because I traveled a lot for work so could avoid the clinginess for the most part and it was great having all the sex I wanted when I was in town.

One Friday afternoon in the middle of summer, a buddy calls out of the blue and says "hey, we're loading up the car with beer and heading to the lake in two hours, you in?" I immediately tell him yes, even though I was scheduled to travel to Tennessee that afternoon with my girlfriend to meet her parents for the first time.

I call her up and make up some BS excuse that I had to leave town for work at the last moment, etc. She buys it and says, oh, why don't I come over for a bit so we can see each other before you leave. I tell her no, I don't have time, I have to do all kinds of shit before I leave, etc., etc., etc., but I guess I protested too much as she immediately became suspicious.

Fast forward an hour and 50 minutes, as I'm just finishing putting my bag in my buddy's trunk. Who should happen to pull up? Yup, the girlfriend. She was not amused.

She gave me an ultimatum right there on the spot, in front of my friends, either I unpack my shit from the car and go with her or we were done. I was already pretty sure I was going to be breaking up with her soon anyway, but this challenge, in front of my friends, no less, was just too good to pass up.

Without saying word, I slammed down the trunk, hopped in the back seat of the car, opened the cooler sitting there and told my friend, "lets get the fuck out of here" and we simply drove away, leaving her there, in my front yard, sobbing. Thankfully, this was before the days where everyone had a cell phone and I didn't have to face her again until Sunday night. That was not good.

[blackPHOGmoan]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=illinijhawk link=topic=691.msg8135#msg8135 date=1282919832]

One Friday afternoon in the middle of summer, a buddy calls out of the blue and says "hey, we're loading up the car with beer and heading to the lake in two hours, you in?" I immediately tell him yes, even though I was scheduled to travel to Tennessee that afternoon with my girlfriend to meet her parents for the first time.

She gave me an ultimatum right there on the spot, in front of my friends, either I unpack my shit from the car and go with her or we were done. I was already pretty sure I was going to be breaking up with her soon anyway, but this challenge, in front of my friends, no less, was just too good to pass up.

Without saying word, I slammed down the trunk, hopped in the back seat of the car, opened the cooler sitting there and told my friend, "lets get the fuck out of here" and we simply drove away, leaving her there, in my front yard, sobbing. Thankfully, this was before the days where everyone had a cell phone and I didn't have to face her again until Sunday night. That was not good.
[/quote]

I like that one because it's the fucking lake with your bros. Tell that trick you need some guybernation time to bro chill with the homies.

That's what I don't get about the females. Why can't they understand that I really want to bro out sometimes and it will be at random, sudden times because we're dudes. Just accept it and we'll be back in a day or two or three.

Dear womenz, you don't get 100% of me.

I don't have any good break up stories because I'm too selfish to date much.

[bobbything]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

Damn illini, that's brutal.

I have a severe case of Jello Spine when it comes to breaking up with someone.

The worst time I ever did it was on Christmas Eve. It was honestly horrible. I knew that if I didn't do it then, then I'd have to wait at least a month after Christmas. I was either going to be (a) the douchebag who broke up with my girlfriend right after Christmas, or (b) the doucebag who broke up with my girlfriend right before Christmas.

I chose b.

Still thinking about it makes me cringe. And that was about 6 years ago.

I was always a master at, what I referred to as, "The Classic Fade-Out." Where you gradually talk to them less and less, until you're broken up.

[ono]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=bobbything link=topic=691.msg8148#msg8148 date=1282921540]
I was always a master at, what I referred to as, "The Classic Fade-Out." Where you gradually talk to them less and less, until you're broken up.
[/quote]

Same here, I just did this to a girl I was involved with and it came to a head last night. Good times.

[KVN638]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

I use really loose language when dating girls. I don't use the word dating ever because girls are dumbasses and think dating means exclusive. I always use terms like "getting to know." I explained to this girl that I didn't really want to date and I was just looking to have some fun and hang out with for the summer. She said she got ita nd still wanted to hang out. Over a few months she started getting clingy and pissy. She was probably a typical girl and thought she could change my mind. She ended up coming to KU to a party I had at the beginning of the semester. I saw my opportunity to get the point across to her, so I ended up taking another girl to my room and walked right in front of her on the way. I had no idea where she slept that night, but she was leaving as I got up. The barrage of texts 10 minutes later were pretty mean.


Looking back I actually feel bad, b/c it could have been handled better, but that's what clingy girls who don't listen get sometimes.

[Hoopo]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=JHAWKjason link=topic=691.msg8103#msg8103 date=1282911355]What's the best way you've ever broken up with someone?
[/quote]

In 2005 I put a lit cigarette in my naked gf's vagina as she was tied to my bed with old neckties. I then opened the window to my downtown Lawrence loft apartment. It was about 43 degrees outside. Then I passed out on the couch after removing and finishing the cigarette. Four or so hours later I woke up and untied her, and our relationship was over. I think she held the small cigarette burn on her inner left thigh against me, but I'm not sure.

[ElJefe58]

Re: Let's make this a good day, story time

[quote author=ono link=topic=691.msg8154#msg8154 date=1282922008]
[quote author=bobbything link=topic=691.msg8148#msg8148 date=1282921540]
I was always a master at, what I referred to as, "The Classic Fade-Out." Where you gradually talk to them less and less, until you're broken up.
[/quote]

Same here, I just did this to a girl I was involved with and it came to a head last night. Good times.
[/quote]

Yeah, that's pretty much how my break-ups go. Fade out slowly, then no more contact for a while. Then a text or a call asking, "So, that's it, huh?"

I hate drama but at the same time I could also be more direct and simply avoid prolonging the process by speaking up earlier. Oh well.