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  • Wedding Traditions

    Your thoughts?

    I’m planning on proposing on July 3rd, and so all of this stuff is coming up

    tonight I took her parents to dinner and “asked” for their blessing.

    Obviously, I was sure they’d say yes, and even if they didn’t, we’d probably go on with it; however, I’m a sucker for tradition and they thought said that it wasn’t necessary, but they appreciated it

    i know it’s hip and trendy to skip that step because women aren’t property and that’s clearly what this tradition means nowadays :rollseyes:

    obviously, I’m biased, but I thought I’d pose the question to the board...other wedding traditions are on trial as well

  • #2
    Congrats Joe!

    No matter what you do or don’t do, do it for the two of you and no one else. If you want to waste money on a big ceremony, go for it. But don’t do it just because her mom wants one. And don’t fall for that bullshit that the day is all about her either.

    I don’t really have much nice to say about traditions around weddings.

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    • #3
      Four(th) Words: Star. Spangled. Banana-Hammock.



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      • #4
        I agree with KUGDI. If it's something you are interested in, I would recommend a "destination" wedding. It's not for everyone but we loved ours. We went to Antigua for a wedding/honeymoon and it was perfect. The resort did all the heavy lifting, which took a lot of the stress out of it.

        Whatever you guys do, have fun & enjoy your new beginnings. Congrats!!!

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        • #5
          Congrats!

          I don’t know that we did any tradition. Danforth Chapel on the KU campus. My buddy went online and bought a preacher certificate that worked when we got a marriage license, so he married us. We wrote the whole ceremony and made it fairly short. I don’t think we even did the something old, something new thingy. I disagree with kugdi though. I thought is really was about the bride because I didn’t care about nearly any decisions being made. The whole day is pretty much a blur now 21 years later. My recommendation is to tradition it up and to be as involved as you want (as long as most statements are, “I agree,” unless you really have a strong opinion).

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          • #6
            Congrats Joe!
            My wife’s parents spent $80k on our wedding back in 93. It was fuggin stupid and unnecessary. The day is fondly remembered, but it was a colossal waste of money.

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            • #7
              Congrats! I remember reading about a wedding tradition where a crowd gathered outside the bedroom window of the couple on their wedding night as the marriage was consummated. Who knows, maybe that will be included on your wedding video. Just suggesting.

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              • #8
                Congrats!

                Enjoy the process and don't allow any of it to stress you out. Don't feel obligated to do anything you don't see as a positive.

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                • #9
                  Congrats!

                  I haven't planned a wedding, so don't listen to me, but when it comes to big financial decisions, I make it a point to avoid using friends/family (or friends of friends/family). If they were to botch something, chances are you'd remember that more than the deal they were able to cut you or the time you saved by not talking to different vendors. Others' mileage may vary here, of course.

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                  • #10
                    Thanks, all! Had a crazy morning, so I'm just catching up on the comments.

                    I agree completely with the sentiments about not letting it stress us out and not to spend ungodly amounts of money on the one day. I would love to do a courthouse/reception get together, but she's adamant that she wants a wedding.

                    All that said, we have spent our relationship getting out of medical/cc debt, so outside of student loans and manageable car loans, we don't have any debt, and we are in agreement that we don't want to dig a hole for a one day event.

                    Also, she's not a diamond girl, she's actually more interested in the metal work, so I got "lucky" in that regard. The ring I got has a big Opal in it (her favorite) and a white gold custom made band with a couple small diamonds in it. Getting the ring for under a grand was a nice surprise for me.

                    beakumhawks, I like where your head's at, I just don't think you'd like the results

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                    • #11
                      Really happy for you, Joe. You've come a long way and ended up smelling like roses.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by EasyDisease View Post
                        Really happy for you, Joe. You've come a long way and ended up smelling like roses.
                        Thanks man! Very excited. Been murder keeping it to myself...thought I could share it with my closest e-friends

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                        • #13
                          Congrats, Joe Norris !

                          Since you were sticking with tradition, did you negotiate the bride price and dowry before asking permission or after? I'm curious as to your strategy as I'm thinking about doing a trade-in for a new Mazda here in a few months.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by EasyDisease View Post
                            Really happy for you, Joe. You've come a long way and ended up smelling like roses.
                            Ditto! Congrats! I'm happy for you!

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                            • #15
                              Congrats Joe!

                              Nothing to add here that hasn't already been touched on. We had a big expensive wedding, and it was a blast, but I agree that I don't think it's necessary. I know people who's parents had a budget for them for the wedding, or they could take the money and go get married in Aruba (or some place like that) and pocket most of the rest of the budget.

                              Looking forward to hearing that she said yes, and how you proposed.

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