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  • #16
    Originally posted by Thejayhawk78 View Post
    Every year you stay in a career makes it that much harder to switch to something else. By the time you are 50 the job market has pigeon holed you into what you are. It is hard to do something different. unless you start your own business.
    This is where I am at, I started with my current employer in 1989, Have had numerous opportunities to do something different, but could never pull the trigger. Now over 50, pretty well stuck where I am at. Dont get me wrong, I have a pretty good gig, my kids and grandkids all live close by, and I am comfortable. But I always wonder if I should have jumped ship when I was younger.

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    • #17
      I am going the opposite direction. I have been promoted as high as I can get in my current profession at my current institution. I face a choice of doing this for the next 20 years with the typical cost of living raises (or lack thereof depending on the State) or shifting into higher education administration. I'll make much more money by shifting, but I will have a completely different professional life. Will I find new kinds of satisfaction? New stressors? Better co-workers? Worse co-workers? As much as we can put plusses and minuses on paper and try and weigh the differences of our options, we really do not know. It's that unknown that is scary.

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      • #18
        So would appreciate some of your thoughts on this latest development. Option B offered me a position last week and I owe them a response this week. I talked to A this morning, and while very interested, given the holidays and certain key individuals being unavailable until after the new year, they will not be able to make a decision for a couple weeks until likely the 2nd week of January. They had originally committed to letting me know this week as well, knowing about the other offer, but A is a bit larger and more deliberate in approach and turned out they simply couldn't move as quick given the timing around Christmas. While I'd like to think I'm worth rushing a decision for, obviously their timing will be their own and they've been successful on their own accord to date without me...so I get it.

        Here's the question on approach (and I don't like it). Give me your comments on accepting the first position while still pursuing the other? I've found it difficult to find clarity here. The way I see it my options are 1) accept B's offer and lose my strongest shot at a shift in career path as A truly represents a very unique opportunity, 2) decline B but still deal with risk on whether A will offer (which is not a guaranty at this point), or 3) accept B but still pursue A which WILL end up burning some serious bridges and who knows what other unforeseen consequences down the road as it always ends up being a generally small world I've found.

        The idea of 3 frankly sucks and generally goes against what I've done before or whatever I'd advise someone else on, but at the same time I've also read many nuggets of professional wisdom from rj and others over the years here which state "ultimately you need to do what's best for you", even at the expense of a sense of professional loyalty as that's how it works from the other side of the table.

        The last bit of information which is ultimately what makes the situation so complicated is the fact that I left my last position back in November, so currently unemployed. While you never want to leave a role without ever having other options in place, it reached a point where it was entirely untenable (which is worth an entirely separate thread on its on..full of betrayal and backstabbing and all sorts of drama best suited for message boards). I had already put some of these other options in motion, which made me feel confident something would work out. However, being unemployed does certainly offer a strong sense of needing to accept B and not risk missing out on both. This is where the "doing what's best for you/family" really factors in.

        Let me have it, as I truly respect and appreciate all of your comments and perspectives.

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        • #19
          I would say it depends on your field and how likely you are to cross paths professionally with these folks again - i.e. if someone you snub today at company X could be your boss tomorrow at company Y. If that's the case it would change my forthcoming opinion quite a bit, which is: I have never quite understood the idea that workers should be unwaveringly loyal to a company when, if it suited the company's purpose, they wouldn't give 2 shits about being disloyal to you. I think this entire norm is engrained in our society due to the perception that management/capital has all of the power and labor needs to prove themselves worthy of employment - which is largely true, I suppose. However, if you are quite certain that the two companies/people will stay nicely compartmentalized, I would go with option 3 and not give it a second thought. Feeling otherwise is just crappy social conditioning designed to oppress the proletariate, IMO.

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          • #20
            A bird in the hand . . . would suggest you take the current offer and go with it. I would take it right away.

            I'd recommend that approach since you're unemployed at the moment. As to whether you take the other position if it's later offered, I like what Froboz suggests (since there are variables that come into play that we don't know). I don't like the idea of burning bridges, but I also like to see people do what is best for the life they want to live (and this goes for professional athletes that switch teams as well . . . do what you want, not what others expect).

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            • #21
              Agree with last 2 posts, I admire loyalty, but you need to do what’s best for you and your family. Take the current offer, then see how things hash out with A.

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              • #22
                Hmmmm , Bro Brick..... you just refuse to do things the easy way!, don’t you !! ( Laugh).

                The “currently unemployed “ is a HUGE variable.... I think you have to reconcile that first, for obvious reasons.

                First... may we asssume that the money is holding up.... and that you haven’t ( yet) driven everyone around you fucking nuts?

                Second, It seems that that job opportunities must be reasonably plentiful if you have had two on the line since Nov. is this true?

                So..... assuming those two big IFS .... I think that i’d consider staying with he course for a bit longer. You have done the hard part.... I’d be tempted to try to finesse a play for the IDEAL job:

                But only IF you are OK money/wise (and mentally)..... that your family is still “on board” AND job offers are numerous
                Last edited by robinsonjim; 3 weeks ago.

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                • #23
                  I’ve read through the thread and vote with RJ on this one. Being unemployed is a huge factor but if you’re doing okay money wise I think I’d be totally honest with B and tell them you have to wait until you’ve heard from your first choice. Maybe they wait or maybe they sweeten the pot. Or maybe they tell you to take a flying leap. But I think you’ll be happier with yourself. I’d avoid burning bridges. The world is small and getting smaller all the time.

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                  • #24
                    You said it better than I did, Bro Lion. Kindest thanks and regards to you and your fam, Brutha

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by robinsonjim View Post
                      You said it better than I did, Bro Lion. Kindest thanks and regards to you and your fam, Brutha
                      Thank you sir! Happy new year to you and Ms. B!

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by TheBricklayer View Post
                        Option A would represent something different and a new challenge. While that has a lot of appeal to me at the moment, as I've been looking for an opportunity to shift careers, it also presents some additional risk.
                        What are we talking about with the "additional risk"? And, OOC, how old are you?

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by robinsonjim View Post
                          Hmmmm , Bro Brick..... you just refuse to do things the easy way!, don’t you !! ( Laugh).

                          The “currently unemployed “ is a HUGE variable.... I think you have to reconcile that first, for obvious reasons.

                          First... may we asssume that the money is holding up.... and that you haven’t ( yet) driven everyone around you fucking nuts?

                          Second, It seems that that job opportunities must be reasonably plentiful if you have had two on the line since Nov. is this true?

                          So..... assuming those two big IFS .... I think that i’d consider staying with he course for a bit longer. You have done the hard part.... I’d be tempted to try to finesse a play for the IDEAL job:

                          But only IF you are OK money/wise (and mentally)..... that your family is still “on board” AND job offers are numerous
                          RJ, regarding your comment about doing things the easy way...you have no idea, haha.

                          I’m not so presumptuous to say jobs are plentiful. I’ve had plenty of ongoing conversations though over the past several months with various folks that made me feel confident enough that something would work out. I will say that these two represent two of the top options for me as I’ve passed on a few others as they were not the right fit. If I ended up missing on both here, I could still find A job, but none of the other hooks I have in the water would be at the level of either of these in my mind.

                          From the finance perspective, I could hold out for awhile longer if necessary, though you touched on it that personally I need to get back after it. It’s been a couple months now and starting to feel the pressure that it’s been long enough now. Wife is supportive and wants me to be happy, but she’s also the worrier between us and she’s been anxious for awhile (understandably so).

                          i went ahead and accepted the offer on the table. However, start date is not for a few weeks. If the other is able to put something together before then, I’ll still listen. Not sure what I’d do, but will listen.

                          Da, by additional risk I simply meant it is a different industry, so I would face a steep learning curve. While I feel confident I could get up to speed, there is a risk that it just doesn’t work out or that my previous success and talents just doesn’t translate as well as I would have thought.

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