No announcement yet.


  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    I lost an older cousin I was very close to when I was 15. He was like an older brother to me and when he took his own life, I felt tremendous guilt, that put me in a very bad funk for over a year. It got to the point where I started to think how I might do it myself, never very serious about it, but it was in the back of my mind. My family was never one to communicate very much, so his death was a bit of a mystery to me. Right when I turned 17 I saw my uncle, my cousin's dad, and he set the record straight for me. My cousin had been profoundly mentally ill and suffered from schizophrenia that he battled for years. At the end, he just gave up trying to deal with it and took the quick way out. I'm not sure what else could have been done for him.


    • #17
      I have always thought that suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. The pain of those left behind never really end.


      • #18
        Originally posted by beakumhawks View Post
        I have always thought that suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. The pain of those left behind never really end.
        I've always thought it selfish of people who hold this opinion. It comes off as being more concerned about how you and others will feel than the wellbeing of the suicide victim. I also find the "permanent solution/temporary problem" line to be bullshit, too. Temporary isn't the same to someone suffering.


        • #19
          Originally posted by Lurch22 View Post
          Don’t know anyone (close) who has committed suicide. I don’t get it. If I was at rock bottom with family/job issues, I’d grab all the money I could and run away from it to an island in the Caribbean before I’d off myself.
          It is so hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone in that position if you’ve never had those feelings, and I don’t blame you for not’s so hard to empathize with.

          as i said, the closest I’ve been to suicidal thoughts is being at peace with not waking up...actually hoping that maybe I wouldn’t....I did that to myself by drinking so much, which only exacerbated the issue.

          I don’t cry very often, but when I heard the news about Johnny, I couldn’t help it, I lost my shit....I’m just glad I was alone in that moment, cause I didn’t want anyone to see me like’s kind of selfish of me, but all I could think about was how far I had come, but then I was transported back to laying in my bed, in the dark, drinking my life away

          SPOILERtruth be told, I cried during a Star is born as well, I had no idea that was coming and it hit me like a ton of bricks seeing that character in such pain, and then here’s the news about Johnny and all I could think about was how alone he must have felt

          okjayhawker I completely understand, but I think it’s an important thing to talk about

          and I’m with you, markhawk ... the old me would probably have thought how it would have affected me, but now, it’s more of a consideration of how that’s the only solution, in their mind, to make the suffering and pain stop...if they felt like there was another way, they wouldn’t put a gun to their head


          • #20
            And it goes without saying, but, for each and every one of you that has lost somebody in this manner, I’m so sorry for your losses


            • #21
              So, I had a bit of an "episode" on Saturday....I had been feeling down all week, but it all hit me at once, even though everything is going great....anyway, I was in a bad headspace and scrolling through facebook, stupid, I know, and this set me off:

              just a shitty sentiment, IMO, "you asshole! look what you did to me by killing yourself"....everyone can put a hot take on facebook

              so I wrote this up and then ended up deleting it, cause that's not the place for that discussion

              Anyway, this was the first "episode" I had since I quit drinking and I was encouraged that I didn't want to go get alcohol, I just wanted to figure it out and stop it from happening, which isn't an easy thing in and of itself

              anyway, just thought I'd share


              • #22
                The first thing you want to do when you feel like that is evaluate your diet. Are you eating healthy? If you've been slacking, a piece of fruit might be the ticket (unless you are low-carb). It's amazing how much what we eat affects our moods.


                • #23
                  sean has your son had cognitive behavioral therapy? Every person is different, but on average it’s more effective in the long term than medication (not that it has to be either/or). It’s all about correcting your warped thought patterns that make you unhappy (eg thinking nothing goes right for you because a fuse blew and you got a ticket).

                  The Feeling Good Handbook is great for those who can’t or won’t see a therapist. It’s a CBT book.


                  • #24
                    He has a good counselor and we stopped going in February because things seemed better. But we started up again when this stuff happened. His counselor does use CBT. We also switched from his pediatrician to a regular doctor. They are changing his medicine and giving him something that targets depression and anxiety, so we'll see how that goes, too.

                    An update on the ticket . . . we appealed using an online form instead of going to court. A police officer and a magistrate read the appeal and reach a decision. In this case, they changed the ticket to a lesser charge and expense. It no longer has any driving points. My son sort of wanted to go to court and fight it more, but if there is no police dash-cam or it's inconclusive then the original charge could stick instead, so I convinced him to just take the deal.