No announcement yet.

Jokes: Good, Bad, Punny

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #91
    Originally posted by GardArmighty View Post
    When it was first invented, the alphabet only had 25 letters. Nobody knew why.


    • #92
      If you lock up your girlfriend and dog in the trunk of a car for an hour...

      SPOILERwhich one is gonna be happy to see you when you open it up?


      • #93


        • #94
          Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish Pickle
          Factory for many years, Yossel had
          a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

          Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help
          from the factory psychologist. After six months of intense therapy,
          however, the frustrated therapist gave up. He then advised
          Yossel to go ahead and do it, otherwise he would probably
          never have any peace of mind.

          The next day Yossel came home from
          work very early, obviously shaken. His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and
          wanted to know what had happened. For the first time, Yossel
          tearfully confessed to her his tormenting desire to put his
          penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today
          he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately

          Sacha gasped and ran over to her
          husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only
          to find a completely intact penis. She looked up and said,
          "I don't understand. What about the pickle
          slicer?” Yossel replied, “I think she got fired,


          • #95
            If I had a dollar for every time a woman found me unattractive

            SPOILEReventually they wouldn't anymore


            • #96


              • #97
                Here's a great idea for an invention- a thought controlled air freshener!

                It makes scents if you think about it.


                • #98
                  You can tell the sex of an ant with water.
                  If it sinks it is a girl ant.
                  If it floats it is a boy ant


                  • #99
                    What do you call a pile of cats?

                    A purrimid.


                    • HELLOOOO Westie


                      • Originally posted by okjayhawker View Post
                        HELLOOOO Westie
                        That might be the worst joke I've ever heard. I totally don't get it.


                        • Originally posted by illinijhawk View Post

                          That might be the worst joke I've ever heard. I totally don't get it.
                          It's a palindrome.


                          • Sorry, folks, it's my nickname from the phog....

                            Hey, okj!


                            • Shortly after take-off on an outbound, evening Aer Lingus flight from

                              Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following

                              painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: "Ladies and gentlemen,

                              I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there

                              has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how

                              this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and

                              unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for

                              this mistake and inconvenience."

                              When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued,

                              "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else

                              can eat, will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of our

                              10 hour flight.

                              Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we

                              still have 40 dinners available."


                              • Comment