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  • Originally posted by KUGDI View Post

    You were only off by a hare.
    You don't have to be negative.

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    • I had been working on a joke about a broken pencil, but ultimately realized it was pointless.

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      • Originally posted by WolfShirtSophomore View Post

        You don't have to be negative.
        I give this an A+

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        • How many dead strippers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

          I don't know, but it's not 34.

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          • Someday, I think we'd all like to visit Holland. I know I would.

            Wooden shoe?

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            • Originally posted by qwertyu123 View Post
              How many dead strippers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

              I don't know, but it's not 34.
              Ask Kevin Keitzman.

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              • Keep adding them one by one until you get your answer, qwerty.

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                • The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.

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                  • Originally posted by GardArmighty View Post
                    Keep adding them one by one until you get your answer, qwerty.
                    34, 35 whatever it takes.

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                    • You can try to warn people about the danger of Russian Roulette, but it'll just go in one ear and out the other.

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                      • Originally posted by qwertyu123 View Post

                        34, 35 whatever it takes.
                        As it turns out, the number is 42.

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                        • A Roman Catholic priest is on his way to Rome when he runs into an old childhood friend.

                          “My goodness, Mary!” He says. “How have you been?”

                          “Oh, could be better,” she says. “My husband and I have been trying to have children for fifteen years, but we are barren.”

                          “I’m so sorry,” says the priest. “I’m on a pilgrimage to Rome, and I promise to light a candle for you in the great cathedral.”

                          Mary thanks him, and after chatting a little longer, they part ways.

                          Five years later, the priest is eating dinner when there’s a knock at his door. He opens it, and to his surprise, it’s Mary.

                          “I’m so glad I found you!” She exclaims. “Remember that candle you lit for me, years ago? Well, my husband and I now have two sets of twins and a set of triplets — and I just found out I’m pregnant with quadruplets!”

                          She then hands the priest an all-expenses paid ticket to Rome.

                          “Oh Mary!” Says the priest. “Your joy is my joy. You didn’t need to give me a thank-you gift.”

                          “Oh no, it’s not a thank you,” says Mary. “It’s so you can blow out that motherfucking candle.”

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                          • Doing a crossword puzzle I came across a clue “Part of the body where you might insert a plug. 3-Letters”


                            SPOILERTurns out the correct answer is “EAR”. I was way off.

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                            • James bumps in to Evan, an old high school friend. He greets him, and after a while he says "Hey, what happened to Mary Sue, that smoking hot blonde you always hung out with?"

                              Evan says with a sigh, "Yes, well I suppose I should get back to her one day. "

                              "Why, what happened?"

                              "At college, I was trying to pledge into a fraternity. I had to play “gay chicken” with Frank, which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay and the first one to chicken out loses... Frank and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose. We’ve been married 14 years and run a bed and breakfast near Lake Tahoe with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn’t chicken out soon, I’m going to start to suspect he is actually gay."

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                              • Originally posted by MissTCShore View Post
                                Doing a crossword puzzle I came across a clue “Part of the body where you might insert a plug. 3-Letters”


                                SPOILERTurns out the correct answer is “EAR”. I was way off.
                                And not a good speller either.

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