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Jokes: Good, Bad, Punny

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  • Jokes: Good, Bad, Punny

    What are the broken condoms doing on the couch?!
    Your children have names, Harold!

  • #2
    A married couple had two beautiful children. They then had a third one but this time the child is super ugly.
    So the man asks his wife: "Honey, did you cheat on me?"

    The woman replies: "Not this time."

    Comment


    • #3
      A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drink for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah the steaks are too high".

      Comment


      • #4
        A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his arse.
        The bartender says, "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your arse?"
        The pirate replies, "YAARRRR! It's driving me nuts!"

        Comment


        • #5
          A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender scowls at him and says, "Hey, stringboy, we don't serve your kind here. Get out!"
          So the string ties himself into a knot, messes up his hair and replies, "I'm a frayed knot..."

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          • #6
            A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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            • #7
              2 nuts were walking down the street. 1 was a salted.

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              • #8
                Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

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                • #9
                  A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Have you heard about the corduroy pillowcases? They’re making headlines!

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                    • #11
                      Breaking News: A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

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                      • #12
                        What's red and shaped like a bucket?

                        A blue bucket painted red.

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                        • #13
                          "Aye, Matey!" said the pirate on the occasion of his eightieth birthday.

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                          • #14
                            Wait, so you DON'T want to hear a joke about Potassium? K...

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by JayhawkLifer View Post
                              A man walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drink for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah the steaks are too high".
                              I can't believe how long it took me to get this one...

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