what would you do?

[WhiteSuxDirtyBirds]

Let's say you are a parent. A parent of a super stud athlete. Let say you have some rules that must be followed for your child to play said sport/sports. Your child is being watched by some major schools and decides to break one of your rules before a big game. Do you let him/her play.

I know my parents never pulled me from any sport when I screwed up, and I know if my son had a chance at a full ride I would not pull him from a game.

[blackPHOGmoan]

Re: what would you do?

By pulling your child you are also directly punishing his teammates, who did not screw up. So you potentially ruin 45 of his classmates seasons because you failed to look at the bigger picture. It seems very selfish.

[illinijhawk]

Re: what would you do?

That's a toughie. As a parent, I've learned early on that if you establish consequences for bad behavior, you must be willing to follow through with said consequences, otherwise you're screwed.

I would assume that any kind of rules with such drastic consequences in your scenario would have to be more than just not making your bed, like going out and getting their drink on and driving home or hosting a kegger while the parents were away. If that's the case, I'd force him/her to sit. The lesson learned is far more valuable to the child than playing in a single game. If it hurts the team . . . an even better opportunity for the child to see his actions not only affect him/herself, but those around him.

If the child is truly a "stud" athlete, missing one game shouldn't sour his/her chances at the next level. In fact, it might endear the child to a future coach seeing the child be disciplined and hopefully learning from the experience so when he/she shows up on campus, the coach has some confidence his rules/consequences will be understood to be enforced and not only when convenient.

[gspot]

Re: what would you do?

[quote author=illinijhawk link=topic=381.msg3630#msg3630 date=1281718029]
That's a toughie. As a parent, I've learned early on that if you establish consequences for bad behavior, you must be willing to follow through with said consequences, otherwise you're screwed.

I would assume that any kind of rules with such drastic consequences in your scenario would have to be more than just not making your bed, like going out and getting their drink on and driving home or hosting a kegger while the parents were away. If that's the case, I'd force him/her to sit. The lesson learned is far more valuable to the child than playing in a single game. If it hurts the team . . . an even better opportunity for the child to see his actions not only affect him/herself, but those around him.

If the child is truly a "stud" athlete, missing one game shouldn't sour his/her chances at the next level. In fact, it might endear the child to a future coach seeing the child be disciplined and hopefully learning from the experience so when he/she shows up on campus, the coach has some confidence his rules/consequences will be understood to be enforced and not only when convenient.
[/quote]

I concur, but I don't have kids so I guess my response was a total waste of time.....

[ono]

Re: what would you do?

There are other ways of punishing than pulling him off the field.

See Mangino and Self during the great Kansas Civil War of 2009.

[sweaterbydarwin]

Re: what would you do?

Bingo.
[quote author=illinijhawk link=topic=381.msg3630#msg3630 date=1281718029]
That's a toughie. As a parent, I've learned early on that if you establish consequences for bad behavior, you must be willing to follow through with said consequences, otherwise you're screwed. [/quote]

[illinijhawk]

Re: what would you do?

[quote author=ono link=topic=381.msg3639#msg3639 date=1281718622]
There are other ways of punishing than pulling him off the field.

See Mangino and Self during the great Kansas Civil War of 2009.
[/quote]

Sure, that's punishment handed out after the fact . . . there were no hard and fast rules about what consequences would occur if the football and basketball teams decided to go all Jets and Sharks on campus. Here the rules and consequences for violating said rules have been laid out before hand and the child still violated the rules. Consistency is key for parenting and a willingness to follow through, no matter how unpopular it might make you.

[TacoHut]

Re: what would you do?

sounds like someone listened to New School this morn

[blackPHOGmoan]

Re: what would you do?

Let me add, I have no kids but I did have parents. So I'm semi-qualified

This is not legal counsel, I am not your lawyer.

[Guest]

Re: what would you do?

[quote author=blackPHOGmoan link=topic=381.msg3620#msg3620 date=1281717310]
By pulling your child you are also directly punishing his teammates, who did not screw up. So you potentially ruin 45 of his classmates seasons because you failed to look at the bigger picture.[/quote]

This is even better...the added pressure of his friends getting punished for his actions will do even more to keep him in line than parental punishment alone.

[IceHawkE]

Re: what would you do?

[quote author=illinijhawk link=topic=381.msg3647#msg3647 date=1281718908]
[quote author=ono link=topic=381.msg3639#msg3639 date=1281718622]
There are other ways of punishing than pulling him off the field.

See Mangino and Self during the great Kansas Civil War of 2009.
[/quote]

Sure, that's punishment handed out after the fact . . . there were no hard and fast rules about what consequences would occur if the football and basketball teams decided to go all Jets and Sharks on campus. Here the rules and consequences for violating said rules have been laid out before hand and the child still violated the rules. Consistency is key for parenting and a willingness to follow through, no matter how unpopular it might make you.
[/quote]

This.

If the stud knew the consequences of his/her mistake BEFORE the infraction then you have no choice but to sit the kid. Bottom line is the kid made the decision, not the parent. You sit the kid, the kid will probably pissed at the parent for while, but in the long term the kid loses respect for the parent.