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Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

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  • Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

    You, sir, are a guitar-playing douche. With your sunglasses like a tiara atop your nodding head, you heartily strum some augmented chord over and over like a buskar, as we, the plane, wait for bags.

    Woe for you to keep your instrument en-cased during these agonizing 75 minutes of flight time, every second an eternity your meaty babyman hands could not caress the Takamine Dave Mathews model spruce-top instrument with matte finish. Praise god and baby jesus alike that you could emerge from the flying sound prison, strap on and play your chord faster and faster, as if for us to dance in our minds, in this tile and stainless setting of the airport.

    Or, perhaps, in our minds we dance a dance of murder, a joyous garrotting of your husky neck with a wound G string, your sandal-clad dirtytoes flailing about as your chord ceases to sustain.

  • #2
    Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

    I feel like this has the potential for a Real Men of Genius commercial.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

      "REAL AMERICAN HEROEEEEEEEES"

      "MR. GUITAR PLAYING DOUCHE AT THE BAGGAGE CLAIM"

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

        [quote author=samandbendrivemetodrink link=topic=3594.msg41448#msg41448 date=1297362880]
        I feel like this has the potential for a Real Men of Genius commercial.
        [/quote]

        That's good, because I read it in that voice.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

          What airport? I may know this douche

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

            Did the douche have his guitar case open for gratuity? That's where my childhood practice of spitball hurling often pays off.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

              [quote author=Jayhawker link=topic=3594.msg41473#msg41473 date=1297371642]
              [quote author=samandbendrivemetodrink link=topic=3594.msg41448#msg41448 date=1297362880]
              I feel like this has the potential for a Real Men of Genius commercial.
              [/quote]

              That's good, because I read it in that voice.
              [/quote]


              Those commercials are some of the worst things ever. If I was gravyshanks I would be fucking pissed that you were comparing my post to that garbage.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim



                Today we salute you, Mr. Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

                Mr. Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim!

                With your sunglasses like a tiara atop your nodding head, you heartily strum some augmented chord over and over like a buskar, as we, the plane, wait for bags.

                Why'd you take your shirt off?

                Woe for you to keep your instrument en-cased during these agonizing 75 minutes of flight time, every second an eternity your meaty babyman hands could not caress the Takamine Dave Mathews model spruce-top instrument with matte finish.

                We could see you air-strumming!

                Or, perhaps, in our minds we dance a dance of murder, a joyous garrotting of your husky neck with a wound G string, your sandal-clad dirtytoes flailing about as your chord ceases to sustain.

                You got blood on your V-neck!

                So crack open a Bud Light Mr. Guitar Douche, then crack open another for that mangled piece of wood you used to call a guitar.

                Mr. Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim!





                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Ode to the Guitar Playing Douche at Baggage Claim

                  he was totally wearing a v-neck. NAILED IT.

                  Comment

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