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  • Divorces

    Currently, we have three sets of friends that are going through them; and likely, one or two more on the way. Most started out amicable enough and but all have devolved into the most retarded, crazy, junior high bullshit you can imagine. I'm not sure if it's because we're old enough now to be established in life, have no real social trappings to worry about, drink too much or what, but it's getting out of hand. We can't even talk to them because by doing so, you've inadvertently put yourself into the middle of something. So, for those of you with experience, is everyone who goes through these things generally this irrational?

  • #2
    Re: Divorces

    Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Divorces

      [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
      Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
      [/quote]

      This.. When I divorced my first wife. I just said take everything I don't give a shit. It's just stuff. I want this over with.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Divorces

        From what I've seen, the guys are having a lot harder time moving on. But of all the people I know involved, only one has been what I would describe as an adult about it.

        [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
        Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
        [/quote]

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Divorces

          and that's my rationale. However, most of these went over pretty easy at first but have turned into craziness now that things are finalized and they're actually divorced. It's getting worse, not better.

          [quote author=WhiteSuxDirtyBirds link=topic=2718.msg30812#msg30812 date=1292433435]
          [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
          Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
          [/quote]

          This.. When I divorced my first wife. I just said take everything I don't give a shit. It's just stuff. I want this over with.
          [/quote]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Divorces

            [quote author=WhiteSuxDirtyBirds link=topic=2718.msg30812#msg30812 date=1292433435]
            [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
            Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
            [/quote]

            This.. When I divorced my first wife. I just said take everything I don't give a shit. It's just stuff. I want this over with.
            [/quote]

            This...I wanted my Jeep and the TV...I gave her everything else just to make her go away as quickly as possible.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Divorces

              If we would've had a dog and she want it. I would of fought tooth and nail for custody!

              [quote author=sweaterbydarwin link=topic=2718.msg30814#msg30814 date=1292433718]
              and that's my rational. However, most of these went over pretty easy at first but have turned into craziness now that things are finalized. It's getting worse, not better.

              [quote author=WhiteSuxDirtyBirds link=topic=2718.msg30812#msg30812 date=1292433435]
              [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
              Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
              [/quote]

              This.. When I divorced my first wife. I just said take everything I don't give a shit. It's just stuff. I want this over with.
              [/quote]
              [/quote]

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Divorces

                This.. When I divorced my first wife. I just said take everything I don't give a shit. It's just stuff. I want this over with.
                $500 in boots later...you have a new wife

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Divorces

                  This happened to me last year.

                  My best friend from 3rd grade until sometime last year went through a divorce. He was the best man at my wedding, I was his best man in his. Last year a week before Christmas he gave me a call wanting to set up some big party for his wife's 30 birthday party the following spring. I told him it sounded like fun and we should do it. That is the last I talked to him. Then about 3 days after Christmas he moved out of his home. He has 3 kids. He's was also a police officer.

                  My wife was really good friends with his wife, going all the way back to high school. So I was in a bind. My best friend goes up and moves out on his wife and kids. Later I find out he was banging some strange on the side. I know who this new chick his and she's a skank of major proportions. All the sudden he's leading his current wife around. They talk about fixing things, all while he's shacked up with the skank and his current wife knows about it.

                  This whole situation sends his wife through her crazy "mid-life" crisis and gets a tramp stamp on her back of a cross. She's a real conservative Christian, so I see the irony of a "cross" tramp stamp. Turns out my best friend talked her into it what is even more hilarious is that he says lower back tatoos aren't considered tramp stamps anymore, the new tramp stamp is at the base of the neck. I guess he was trying to spice up a failing or already failed marriage or just fuck her over a little bit. His wife has all sorts of "drama" going on about this whole situation. My friend is goes off the deep end. I chose to just not talk to him at all about the situation because if I take his side in the matter, I fear I'll end up in the dog house with my wife. This guy who's been my best friend since I was about 9 years old doesn't talk to me one bit through the whole ordeal and I don't ever call him, (probably a mistake on my part).

                  Things progress, or regress, for a while. My friend's wife wants to seek my advice through the thing, I tell her I don't feel comfortable about it. Then he "suddenly" files for divorce around May and it catches his wife off guard. I laugh because I could see it a mile away and don't understand why she didn't file first since the guy was just fucking her around. Then this causes more "drama." She calls my wife up and is just shocked that this is happening, my wife has to go over and hold her hand and shit. I tell my wife that this woman is just batshit crazy if she didn't see it coming. For crying out loud he's been shacked up and banging this skank for a while and she didn't see it coming or wanted to fix it.

                  My friend meanwhile tries to talk his wife into him paying about $450 bucks a month child support for three kids. She's tempted to take it. I finally tell her that is way to little for 3 kids and she needs to hire an attorney. (My only real involvement in the whole thing).

                  The divorce goes through. Everything is done. Then my friend's ex-wife goes on her "wilding" stage and starts drinking (something she's never done before) and dating who ever comes around. She hooks up with some stalker guy who goes over to her house during her Fourth of July party and makes a big scene. Some guys apparently escort him out. She files a protection from stalking/abuse order. During this whole ordeal my "best friend" has taken the kids to his new girlfriends family reunion for 10 days. They apparently became engaged prior to the divorce being finalized, while he was leading his then wife on about "getting back together."

                  My friend's family basically disowns him during this period because he's being an ass.

                  The matter get's even stranger. When he comes back, he refuses to give the kids back to his ex-wife, who has custody. She calls the cops (his colleges) who show up and there is some major stand off for some time where they are trying to talk some sense into him. He apparently refused to give them back for "safety" issues because of the PFS order. After sometime he gives them back. Suddenly the ex-wife is now the bad guy for calling the cops on her ex-husband with his own family and they are now against her.

                  About a week after that, the ex-wife tries to access her computer accounts and all of the passwords are changed. She can't figure it out. She goes to the internet service company she uses. Apparently she was dating the guy at tech support. He figures out who changed her internet password by doing a IP lookup. It turns out the IP address that changed the password was at the Law Enforcement center. It was her ex husband, the cop and my friend. He changed every password to all of her accounts, Facebook, banking, whatever. They were all changed. This is also a crime. She calls his supervisor who looks into the whole ordeal and confirms that he used a police computer to do all this. Subsequently he gets fired from the job he has had for 10 years.

                  After this short novel I would have to answer that yes, people go nuts during divorce and do stupid shit.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Divorces

                    The 7 year itch has become the 3 year with 1 kid itch it seems with some of my friends. It is tough because they will tell you some really bad things about the other person that you don't want to know. Plus, it is hard to determine what is the truth and what isn't. It is hard to be friends with them and not end up in the middle. We've almost had to ignore them until they finally finalize the damn things.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Divorces

                      [quote author=Hawker007 link=topic=2718.msg30820#msg30820 date=1292434689]
                      The 7 year itch has become the 3 year with 1 kid itch it seems with some of my friends. It is tough because they will tell you some really bad things about the other person that you don't want to know. Plus, it is hard to determine what is the truth and what isn't. It is hard to be friends with them and not end up in the middle. We've almost had to ignore them until they finally finalize the damn things.
                      [/quote]

                      I don't know if some of that is repairable. My friend unfriended me on facebook and I am for some reason still his ex-wife's friend. 90% of her status updates are just stupid shit ambiguous bashing of him about one thing or another. Then a few months ago I was reading her status update and one of her other male friends was offering to kick his ass on FB. It is just stupid shit that sets everything back to Jr. High.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Divorces

                        yeah, I've just flat out told my wife not to tell me anything. Just crazy stuff. It does however, make my wife think I'm a saint.

                        And it is funny. One of the two inevitably seems to go all rumspringa as soon as it's over.

                        [quote author=Hawker007 link=topic=2718.msg30820#msg30820 date=1292434689]
                        The 7 year itch has become the 3 year with 1 kid itch it seems with some of my friends. It is tough because they will tell you some really bad things about the other person that you don't want to know. Plus, it is hard to determine what is the truth and what isn't. It is hard to be friends with them and not end up in the middle. We've almost had to ignore them until they finally finalize the damn things.
                        [/quote]

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Divorces

                          Well I just went through this. I have her everything, and currently pay OUTRAGEOUS amounts of money to her (I agreed to all of it) just so I didn't have to deal with anything anymore. I filed first, and could have taken her to the cleaners for all the crap she's done, but it wasn't worth it. I know I was right, I know that deep down inside she knows she was wrong, and I don't need a court or anyone else to confirm it.

                          Granted I am only 6 months out from all of it, but things have been fairly amicable. A few flair ups, but nothing huge. My biggest gripe is only her forcing her fiancé (long story) into "dad" things. But it's something I know I have to get used to.

                          If we didn't have kids, I'd probably have put up a much bigger fight, and gone after what "was mine", but I a dad first. As long as we both keep the kids as our top priority, we won't have any problems I don't think.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Divorces

                            [quote author=sweaterbydarwin link=topic=2718.msg30813#msg30813 date=1292433604]
                            From what I've seen, the guys are having a lot harder time moving on. But of all the people I know involved, only one has been what I would describe as an adult about it.

                            [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
                            Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
                            [/quote]
                            [/quote]

                            Your statement about the guys doesn't surprise me. It has been my experience (both personally and that of my friends) that girls have the harder time letting go initially. But once they are really done, they are able to move on much faster and better than the guys. I think girls process their emotions immediately and guys tend to have a delayed reaction to the finality of relationships....thus girls getting over it more quickly.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Divorces

                              [quote author=samandbendrivemetodrink link=topic=2718.msg30851#msg30851 date=1292446089]
                              [quote author=sweaterbydarwin link=topic=2718.msg30813#msg30813 date=1292433604]
                              From what I've seen, the guys are having a lot harder time moving on. But of all the people I know involved, only one has been what I would describe as an adult about it.

                              [quote author=WolfShirtSophomore link=topic=2718.msg30811#msg30811 date=1292433182]
                              Well, I know the women are extremely irrational. Some men are too, but not all.
                              [/quote]
                              [/quote]

                              Your statement about the guys doesn't surprise me. It has been my experience (both personally and that of my friends) that girls have the harder time letting go initially. But once they are really done, they are able to move on much faster and better than the guys. I think girls process their emotions immediately and guys tend to have a delayed reaction to the finality of relationships....thus girls getting over it more quickly.
                              [/quote]

                              QFT. Guys are a slow burn.

                              Comment

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