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I have been sober six months now and currently live at a supported independent living center, a sober house. I am not dual diagnosed, they opened it up to people with just mental issues, but I do have a history of using alcohol at times to self medicate when I wasn’t on the right medications. I do get triggers at times to drink, when I smell alcohol at a restaurant. It’s only a slight feeling, a feeling like, ‘oh that was nice, it used to relax me,’ if that makes sense. I am committed to staying sober for life, but I have mixed issues about going to 12-step groups. Some people say they are necessary for sobriety, that since it is a disease it is impossible to stay sober without treatment in committing to a higher power. I believe however that there is choice involved with it, and don’t believe that I am totally helpless to a trigger or a craving, that they can be overcome with the right coping tools. I don’t hang out with people who abuse alcohol anymore and who have depression, I keep my boundaries clear. Honestly while there were times where I abused alcohol, I mostly did it to ‘fit in’ instead of my own cravings. When I did attend AA I didn’t relate to anyone there, and literally felt like I was lying when I said that I was an alcoholic…when they asked if I obsessed about it or had cravings for it I didn’t, and when they shared stories about going to rehabs and running away from them, and drinking bottles to themselves, I thought woah… I can’t relate. Even though I know it’s not always about how much you drink it’s the consequences, but I feel that it is different.
Anyway I’m just influenced by other people’s opinions, my therapist thinks that I am not dual diagnosed and don’t need AA–but the case manager here thinks I could benefit from it. I however feel like I would benefit more from Al-Anon because I have been more of an ‘enabler’ in my past, instead of the one abusing it more I’ve tried to save people and been co-dependent on people who were abusing it.
To sum up my drinking history, I used to drink a glass or two of wine a night, almost every night in order to help me sleep (while I was depressed at my last job). I thought it calmed me down but I think it interefereed with my medication. I quit it cold turkey when I started to feel really depressed and had an episode.. then when I told a dual recovery counselor about it they basically diagnosed me as an alcoholic. When I had my manic episodes the most I drank, usually, was about 4 drinks a night.. so if you look at it by how much I drink it wasn’t considered to be all that much, but still, I just don’t want to pick up a drink ever again and worry when I hear that I could be an addict that I might just do that. I don’t think I’d ever drink myself into oblivion, though.
I just think that I wasn’t on the right medications and that’s why I was self-medicating, but I wanted to know if this seems like I should give AA another shot.
:-\
Anyway I’m just influenced by other people’s opinions, my therapist thinks that I am not dual diagnosed and don’t need AA–but the case manager here thinks I could benefit from it. I however feel like I would benefit more from Al-Anon because I have been more of an ‘enabler’ in my past, instead of the one abusing it more I’ve tried to save people and been co-dependent on people who were abusing it.
To sum up my drinking history, I used to drink a glass or two of wine a night, almost every night in order to help me sleep (while I was depressed at my last job). I thought it calmed me down but I think it interefereed with my medication. I quit it cold turkey when I started to feel really depressed and had an episode.. then when I told a dual recovery counselor about it they basically diagnosed me as an alcoholic. When I had my manic episodes the most I drank, usually, was about 4 drinks a night.. so if you look at it by how much I drink it wasn’t considered to be all that much, but still, I just don’t want to pick up a drink ever again and worry when I hear that I could be an addict that I might just do that. I don’t think I’d ever drink myself into oblivion, though.
I just think that I wasn’t on the right medications and that’s why I was self-medicating, but I wanted to know if this seems like I should give AA another shot.
:-\
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