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Pregunta. Phantom fart etiquette

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  • Pregunta. Phantom fart etiquette

    This has all happened to us at some point or another. Let me set the scene.

    Grocery store aisle (could be any public venue)
    You run into an old neighbor (has to be female). As you're reminiscing, the distinct odor rapes your nose. You're not responsible. You can pretty much guarantee she isn't either. You know she smells it too. It's impossible not to. You can see price stickers peeling from their packages. It's abundantly clear you've been crop-dusted by a nefarious interloper.

    So, what is the etiquette here? She's too polite to say anything because she thinks it's you. You can see it in her eyes, the knowing accusation. You don't want to say anything because it assumes guilt and you're hoping there is a small chance that she's got a cold. Guy neighbor run-in is easy.
    " Dude...".
    " Not me, I swear" or " sorry (sheepish grin)".

    This, not so much. It's like stepping onto an empty hotboxed elevator and a woman gets on after you.

  • #2
    Re: Pregunta. Phantom fart etiquette

    1. Make light of the issue. 'Do you smell that? Serves us right for meeting in the junk food aisle of Wal Mart.... woooo!'

    2. Quickly, transition to 'People of Wal Mart discussion.

    3. Exit, stage left.

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    • #3
      Re: Pregunta. Phantom fart etiquette

      Look around and find an easy target, like an elderly person. "JESUS FUCK! That old bag just let go of a whopper with cheese!"

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      • #4
        Re: Pregunta. Phantom fart etiquette

        grasp her by the arms and move her to safety. say "it smelled like someone's poopie pants back there." then say something really smooth.

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        • #5
          Re: Pregunta. Phantom fart etiquette




          [img width=600 height=337]http://www.foxnews.com/static/managed/img/Scitech/Emergency%20Bra_604x341.JPG[/img]

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