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Emo Phillips

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  • Emo Phillips

    I just caught his show last night in Minneapolis.

    The dude has still got it.

    [img width=406 height=600][/img]

  • #2
    Re: Emo Phillips

    There's something quirky about Emo that I find really funny.


    • #3
      Re: Emo Phillips

      I discovered my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off of me, you two!"

      So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

      I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.

      I ran three miles today... finally I said, "Lady, take your purse."

      When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

      I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.


      • #4
        Re: Emo Phillips

        I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."

        I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

        “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”


        • #5
          Re: Emo Phillips

          Emo is funny in that Stephen Wright sort've way, and he's virtually the only one who can do that type of off-kilter joke. Completely unlike SW in delivery, yet still funny as hell.

          I guess I'm not surprised he hasn't had a bigger career, because he's so strange. I've always found him very funny.