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Kearney (his actual entry):
A man walks into a talent agency and says to the talent agent, "My Family and I have a
really amazing act. You should represent us."
The Agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The man insists saying, "Sir, if you just hear about our act, I know you would want to
represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. Tell me about it."
The man begins by handing The Agent a cast list.
Cast of Characters:
Husband as the Head of the Manor.
Wife as an aging former Beauty Queen.
Our sixteen year old twin boys, Timmy and Tommy as Pony Boy and Cage Master.
Our daughter Vivian as the very large breasted but strict Disciplinarian.
Our dog Rexx and our pet Cockatoo as unsuspecting dinner guests.
My Grandmother Bertha as the Call Girl.
The Baby Sitter from Missouri doing what girls from Missouri do best.
and Oswald.
He went on to explain that although the twins were identical, it was easy to tell them apart
as Timmy was the one with the Prince Albert piercing. With glee he detailed how Grandma,
although being recently deceased, is perfect for the part of the oversexed call girl.
As the scene opens to a 17th Century Bavarian Castle you can see about the room various
items including three red hot branding irons in the fireplace, a man sized iron bird cage
with curious access holes and a large round oak table. Attached to the table are four
appropriately placed shackles.
But before The Man can begin to describe the action which was to take place in this scene, a
loud series of screeches and thuds followed by breaking glass is heard outside the
large bay windows of The Agent's office on the busy street below. Curious they run to the
window to see a very large limousine pinned in the middle of the sizable wreck, with cars
and buses bunched up all around it blocking every door. There seems to be an unusual number
of police already at the site. Everywhere. And people are getting out of their cars and
running to safety as gasoline from one or more of the vehicles seems to be flooding the
ground around the destruction.
The Agent watches closely as the police and now a few firemen frantically attempt to get
access to the Armored Limo. The gas fumes become even stronger and the fear of them igniting
looms. At last, using the Jaws of Life they are able to open the roof of the car and
extract the occupants. Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles and Prince Harry are whisked away to
safety.
The Man, now furious that The Agent is not listening to his description of the family act
shouts loudly, “Who do they think they are?”
After a few minutes of silence The Agent simply says, “The Aristocrats.”
Entry B:
...
A man walks into a talent agency and says to the talent agent, "My Family and I have a
really amazing act. You should represent us."
The Agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The man insists saying, "Sir, if you just hear about our act, I know you would want to
represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. Tell me about it."
The man begins by handing The Agent a cast list.
Cast of Characters:
Husband as the Head of the Manor.
Wife as an aging former Beauty Queen.
Our sixteen year old twin boys, Timmy and Tommy as Pony Boy and Cage Master.
Our daughter Vivian as the very large breasted but strict Disciplinarian.
Our dog Rexx and our pet Cockatoo as unsuspecting dinner guests.
My Grandmother Bertha as the Call Girl.
The Baby Sitter from Missouri doing what girls from Missouri do best.
and Oswald.
He went on to explain that although the twins were identical, it was easy to tell them apart
as Timmy was the one with the Prince Albert piercing. With glee he detailed how Grandma,
although being recently deceased, is perfect for the part of the oversexed call girl.
As the scene opens to a 17th Century Bavarian Castle you can see about the room various
items including three red hot branding irons in the fireplace, a man sized iron bird cage
with curious access holes and a large round oak table. Attached to the table are four
appropriately placed shackles.
But before The Man can begin to describe the action which was to take place in this scene, a
loud series of screeches and thuds followed by breaking glass is heard outside the
large bay windows of The Agent's office on the busy street below. Curious they run to the
window to see a very large limousine pinned in the middle of the sizable wreck, with cars
and buses bunched up all around it blocking every door. There seems to be an unusual number
of police already at the site. Everywhere. And people are getting out of their cars and
running to safety as gasoline from one or more of the vehicles seems to be flooding the
ground around the destruction.
The Agent watches closely as the police and now a few firemen frantically attempt to get
access to the Armored Limo. The gas fumes become even stronger and the fear of them igniting
looms. At last, using the Jaws of Life they are able to open the roof of the car and
extract the occupants. Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles and Prince Harry are whisked away to
safety.
The Man, now furious that The Agent is not listening to his description of the family act
shouts loudly, “Who do they think they are?”
After a few minutes of silence The Agent simply says, “The Aristocrats.”
Entry B:
...
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